• What every Husband should know about a Womans need for Girlfriends

    Husbands that do not understand a woman’s need for girlfriends and companionship are being grossly shortsighted. Many times as a therapist, these are the same husbands that frequent the tailgate at football games, fishing trips with buddies, and weekend golf outings. All of us need time with our gender, and a release time. History has always discussed the groups with women as well as men. It may be quilting groups in the eighteen hundreds, or shopping excursions in this decade. Women are in need of their female counterparts, to disclose, ask for advice, share, and bond. Not unlike men, and it is very healthy for women to do so.

    There is an inherent bonding that is important, and necessary for mental health. Women have raised their children, told their stories and carried on traditions at a more consistent pace than men. Part of this consistency is the mother daughter bond, as well as having girlfriends, to unwind and brainstorm with. A marriage where there is a lack of respectful independence is a marriage fraught with jealousy, and fear. Men that have issues with their wives spending time with girlfriends need to seek out therapy and focus on their own issues. An addendum is imperative here. When time with girlfriends is so extensive that it takes time from family, children and upkeep then there should be concern.

    We all encounter stress at home and the workplace. There is nothing better than time spent unwinding, relaxing, laughing, and even spending hobby time with your own gender. It is imperative for life to socialize,and bond. As humans we are social animals, there is no mistaking that fact. Socialization, and conversation with our own gender decreases stress, gives support, empowers, influences laughter, and helps problem solving.

    As therapists it is important that we not only encourage time with girlfriends, but explain to their husbands the necessity and how this is a win, win for everyone. There are in fact numerous times where husbands fears are actually projective in nature. Projection, in the sense that husbands are aware what they discuss with their peers and are worried there will be disclosure of dissatisfaction with the marriage. This is indicative once again how good communication and resolution can benefit the marriage and girlfriend time can occur without a problem.

    Time with girlfriends is normal, healthy and imperative. Combined with open communication it is an important adjunct in any marriage. Husbands need to confront their hypocrisy head on, and accept the importance of this bonding scenario. In the end it is nothing more than a necessary ritual of socialization, that occurs with every culture across the world.



  • Buy a New Home During Divorce or Separation? What to Consider

    Going through a divorce is complicated by anyone’s standards. Even if you are going through a relatively “easy” divorce by most accounts, both you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse will be forced to examine every aspect of your social and financial lives as you go through the process.

    In the case of almost any divorce, the most challenging factor that the couple has to work through is that of deciding “who gets what” when it comes to their shared financial assets. And, for situations whereby the couple just cannot seem to see eye-to-eye on anything, the financial piece of the divorce puzzle can be the hardest to solve.

    If you are considering buying a new home during divorce or separation, you are right to question whether this is the best time to make such a purchase. Here are points to consider.

    Buy a New Home During Divorce or Separation?

    The most critical thing to remember when considering whether to buy a home during a divorce or separation is that – if you do not handle things properly – you could end up making a huge mistake. You could be required to sell your newly-purchased home at the end of the divorce process in order to recoup some of the money in order to pay your spouse. Of course, this would be a very costly situation, since you would almost certainly lose money in the process.

    The Risk Factors in Buying a New Home

    The risks you face in buying a new home during divorce come into play in the following situations:

    1. You buy the home before you are legally separated or divorced: If you start the purchase of a new home before official separation or divorce proceedings have gotten underway, you complicate the situation significantly and it could backfire on you.

    2. You purchase the new residence with money that belongs partly to your spouse: Make sure to buy the home with money that is very clearly only yours (but that in no way belongs to your spouse). Otherwise, you could end up having to pay back your spouse down the road – selling the new house just to get the cash.

    3. Other assets have been heavily in contention: If your divorce is of the very contentious kind with lots of back and forth and fighting between your attorneys or each other, it is likely that the purchase of a home right now is not a wise move as it is likely to get embroiled in the mess.

    4. You end up staying together: In the event that you were to later decide to call off the divorce or end your separation, the new house (whose title would be only your name) would be a constant reminder of your divorce attempt. Better to start fresh with a new home that you buy together (or to stay in your current home for now).

    What to Do

    The best thing to do in this situation is to hold off on any home purchases until your divorce is totally finalized, your separation advances into full-fledged divorce, or you decide not to get divorced but remain together. If you feel very strongly that you want to buy a home now, consult your attorney first to make sure you are going about it properly.

    Want to avoid a divorce and restore your marriage back to happiness? Get advice from a relationship expert who has saved thousands of marriages at: http://www.Making-Up-Is-Magic.com.

  • Resolving Your Marriage That Seems To Be On The Rocks

    So, you think that your marriage is in trouble. It may be that you and your spouse just are not communicating, you are constantly arguing over trivial things, or a host of other reasons may be the cause of a steadily eroding situation.

    In today’s high-speed society the various lifestyle events that target our marital relationships include career pressures, neighbor issues, pets, extended family issues, situations that involve children, and many other issues. Primary among these, are probably job and children issues.

    A typical scenario might go something like this:

    Marilyn, who has a good job as a financial analysist at a large brokerage firm, has severe deadlines that must be met in order for her to do well, be in line for career advancement and be right as often as possible in her analysis of financial events. She lives in a very competitive environment, is paid well, but is under constant stress at work.

    Jeff, her husband is in insurance sales, and also has a highly competitive, yet well paying career. He has done well, yet is still under pressure to always do better. He has an excellent track record and is in line for a promotion. He does work 2 evenings per week, as that is when many of his family clients are available.

    Jeff and Marilyn have two children, a girl age 12, and a boy age 14. The children are well behaved and do well in school, but are active socially and do have school functions that Marilyn and Jeff attend as often as possible.

    Over the years, the job pressures have taken their toll on the marriage as the two careers have take an inordinate amount of time away from family and alone-time for the two parents. As the children have grown into their teen years, new challenges have created unique and interesting problems for the family.

    Communications between Jeff and Marilyn have deteriorated to the point that they rarely spend any time together alone, as they are mostly putting out fires, both at their jobs and at home as their children have become more involved in school and in social time with their friends.

    The marriage has lost it’s original basis of love and caring for one another and has become a bad example of how two people barely tolerate one another. Clearly, if this marriage is to survive, Jeff and Marilyn are going to have to find a way to communicate and talk about what they want to happen. This will have to involve some kind of marital advice that will give them a track to run on.

    This is the major problem when marriages begin to drift – the orginal purpose that couples see for them to marry in the first place, becomes replace with all the life events that quickly overwhelm us from circumstances totally outside of our marriage.

    People who are serious about saving the marriage, and truly are willing to get some sort of marital assistance, can solve many of the issues that got them in trouble in the first place. It does require that both parties be willing to honestly deal with the issues and should be the first step in attempting to resolve marital difficulties.


  • Kutcher ‘urged by Kunis to file for divorce’

    Ashton Kutcher reportedly filed for divorce as Mila Kunis was being “driven crazy” by the fact he was still married to Demi Moore.

    The actor and his wife announced they had split last year, after he was accused of being unfaithful on their sixth wedding anniversary. Despite Demi releasing a statement saying she had ended the union, neither party filed to officially end the marriage.

    Ashton posted legal papers on Friday and it’s been suggested his new girlfriend Mila had urged him to do so.

    “[Mila feels] she and Ashton are in limbo due to Demi dragging her feet… [and] seeming unwilling to face facts that it was over and Ashton had moved on – and so should she,” an insider told Chicago Sun-Times.

    “[Demi's reluctance to file for divorce] was really driving Mila crazy.”

    It’s been suggested that Ashton didn’t initially take steps to legally end things as he wanted to let Demi take the reins.

    Other reports suggest the split has been held up as the couple have been trying to work out how to divide their assets. Demi, 50, is said to be feeling fine about the separation and is happy the divorce is in full swing.

    Ashton and Mila have been friends since they appeared on That ’70s Show together and started dating earlier this year. Things are thought to be going well, with friends of the couple expecting an engagement announcement before too long.

    “They have such a strong relationship – originally built on a great friendship – which now has blossomed into a beautiful love affair,” a source explained.

    © Cover Media


  • Four Steps to Moving Forward and Accepting Divorce

    No one wants to admit that their marriage is falling apart. After all, you most likely put in a lot of hard work and the best years of your life making sure this did not happen. And then, poof, it’s all gone. However, the best way to deal with an amicable divorce or breakup is to do it as logically as possible. The quicker you can move forward, the quicker the whole mess can be left in the past, where it belongs. To help you along the way, I have put together a four step program that will help you get through the beginning of a divorce and move to a better place in your life mentally, physically and spiritually.

    1. Consider the financial situation

    We know, this is the last thing you want to do, but this is the first step, especially for your future financial security. With all the emotional stress you are going through, it’s important that you do not add financial burden as well. Collect bills, mortgage payments, bank statements, tax returns and other financial statements. If you are unfamiliar with the financial aspect of the relationship, it’s time to familiarize yourself with it now. The more you know, the better it will be.

    2. Consult a lawyer

    A lawyer can help you through the division of property, division of assets, child care, custody and payments and other financial necessities that you would most likely rather avoid right now. They are there to help and to represent you fairly. So let them.

    3. Take Care of your Body and Soul

    More often than not, you are tossing and turning at night, going over the last years you spent with your husband, trying to determine when, why and what went wrong. Instead of sugar plum fairies, question like “is it my fault?” “could I have been a better wife?” and “what next?” are most likely dancing in your head. You need to try your damndest to move on: this may mean seeing a therapist or a coach, or staying busy during the day so that you are simply too exhausted to let energy-draining thoughts enter your head. Try to concentrate on those aspects of your life that make you feel good – your children, your friends, your hobbies.

    4. Lean on Friends

    Friends, family, mentors – they are all there to help. So let them. Many people find solace and comfort in those who are going through (or have gone through) the divorce proceedings already. You may be surprised how much support and love you have around, if you just let people help you. Let them take the kids for an evening so you can relax and read a book. Invite your girlfriends over for a bottle (or six) of wine to cry, laugh and bitch.

    The trials of divorce can leave you physically, emotionally and mentally drained. However, with these four steps, you will be one step ahead of the upcoming rat race and ready to tackle your divorce with tact, grace and acceptance.

    Vanaja Ghose (http://www.divorcedtodazzling.com) is a

    Professional Life Coach helping women who chose to leave their marriage or

    long term relationship and now want to powerfully recreate their lives.

    Download your FREE mp3 audio on “Nine Steps to Building a New Life After

    Divorce” and contact Vanaja for a free 30-minute strategy session athttp://www.divorcedtodazzling.com

  • Lawyer released from jail; Hearing slated for next month.

    CLINTON – Cynthia A. Dziurgot, a prominent Clinton civic leader, lawyer and real estate agent who was serving a 90-day prison sentence for contempt of court in a divorce settlement, got to spend Christmas at home after all.

    Ms. Dziurgot was released from Framingham State Prison on Dec. 23 after a hearing, a state Department of Correction spokeswoman said yesterday.

    Ms. Dziurgot was jailed Dec. 2 after receiving the 90-day sentence in Worcester According to according to


    1. As stated or indicated by; on the authority of: according to historians.

    2. In keeping with: according to instructions.

    3.  court documents filed Dec. 24 in the state Appeals Court by her lawyer, W. Sanford Durland III of Boston, a motion to stay the contempt order was allowed by the Appeals Court judge on Dec. 18, pending the Dec. 23 hearing in Probate and Family Court. Mr. Durland contended that Ms. Dziurgot was not allowed to probate court probate court


    A court limited to the jurisdiction of probating wills and administering estates.

    Noun 1. probate court – a court having jurisdiction over the probate of wills and the administration of estates  hearing in January.

    She did not return a telephone call yesterday.

    Last January, Ms. Dziurgot was ordered to pay Mr. Farnsworth, an engineer, $500,000 of the settlement by Nov. 28, with the balance, $329,478, due Dec. 19, or she would be sentenced immediately.

    The divorce case lasted nearly a dozen years. They were married in 1986. Mr. Farnsworth filed for divorce in 1995.

    Meanwhile, Ms. Dziurgot filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy Court bankruptcy court n. the specialized Federal court in which bankruptcy matters under the Federal Bankruptcy Act are conducted. There are several bankruptcy courts in each state, and each one’s territory covers several counties.  documents as being from $100,000 to $500,000, include a home and law-real estate offices at 75 violated vi·o·late  

    tr.v. vi·o·lat·ed, vi·o·lat·ing, vi·o·lates

    1. To break or disregard (a law or promise, for example).

    2. To assault (a person) sexually.

    3.  an earlier stay by attaching rental property Ms. Dziurgot and her brother, Robert Dziurgot, own in Fitchburg to the divorce settlement. A receiver was appointed by the probate court to manage the Fitchburg and Clinton property, part of which is also rental property.

    Ms. Dziurgot, who was voted 2005′s “Outstanding Professional of the Year” by the chamber of commerce, was also ordered to pay her former husband $75,000 in legal fees, at $10,000 a month, beginning Jan. 19.


    CUTLINE: Ms. Dziurgot

    http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Lawyer released from jail; Hearing slated for next month.-a0191338224