• Seeking new marital tort, frustrated father takes divorce case to civil court.

    A divorce-related lawsuit filed in New Jersey is trying to establish precedent in that state for a new marital tort: alienation of children’s affection. The case involves Canadian billionaire Moses Segal, who says he suffered Princeton, New Jersey See also: Princeton Township, New Jersey

    Princeton, New Jersey is located in Mercer County, New Jersey, United States. Princeton University has been sited in the town since 1756. . “We’ve never seen this kind of claim brought to a civil court.”

    In 1994, Segal began living with Cynthia Lynch, first in the Bahamas and then in Canada. They separated in 2001. In 2005, the Toronto Globe and Mail described their divorce saga as “a tale of financial scheming, intrigue, and punitive damages Monetary compensation awarded to an injured party that goes beyond that which is necessary to compensate the individual for losses and that is intended to punish the wrongdoer. . (Segal v. Lynch, No. L-003076-07 (N.J., Morris Co. Super. filed Oct. 25, 2007).)

    http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Seeking new marital tort, frustrated father takes divorce case to…-a0174282021

  • Comfort Letter: Examples & Summary

    Most of us haven’t even heard the term comfort letter, let alone its definition. A comfort letter is written by CPAs for both individuals and companies and often reinforces a status to a lender or investor. Here, you’ll find out more about this type of letter along with comfort letter examples.

    What Is a Comfort Letter?

    Basically, a comfort letter for a private individual is verification by a tax professional stating they did prepare a person(s) income tax return for a certain year or years. For a business or company, a comfort letter example would include much more such as attesting to the auditing of all the financial records of the business.

    Depending upon the type of comfort letter a lender or investor requests, you’ll need to give written permission to the accountant in order for them to initiate and send the letter.

    Often, if an individual owns a sole proprietorship and is looking for a bank or home loan, a lender or bank may request a comfort letter even though they are given a tax return by the individual.

    The purpose of a comfort letter, in the eyes of a lender or investor, is to guarantee or attest to certain financial items or tax preparation; however, more and more Certified Public Accountants (CPAs) are minimizing comfort letter efforts due to possible liability involved.

    Individual Letters of Comfort

    A comfort letter example for an individual can be found in our Media Gallery and offers the following information to the person or organization requesting the letter:

    Date written Person or organization and address of requestor Verification of preparation of tax returns for years prepared Tax professional attest to following guidelines of the Internal Revenue Service Tax professional attests that tax return(s) were prepared by information given by the client Paragraph stating tax professional’s letter of comfort should not be the total basis a lender or investor should use a verification that the person(s) is credit worthy.

    More detailed comfort letters that are really more of a true audit of a person(s) income and expenses can be requested to be written by a tax professional. One must consider the amount of time and costs this type of letter would incur, however. Keep in mind that most tax professionals charge by the hour and to verify all your financial information may take quite some time and that doesn’t include a full audit of your financial records.

    Business Letters of Comfort

    If a business requires this type of letter, a comfort letter example for a business can also be found in our Media Gallery. This letter may be more entailed especially if a company is searching for investors or seeking major business funding.

    Again, most CPAs will not guarantee what is contained in the letter of comfort unless they perform a full blown audit of a business, not just tax preparation. Some items that may be included in a business letter of comfort would be:

    Audit of cash flow Audit of income and expenses Balance sheet reconciliations General ledger audits Owner equity audits

    Here again, the business must provide the CPA with written request to prepare a comfort letter and because they consist of performing an audit to be accepted as a comfort letter, they can be quite expensive.

    In some circumstances, with smaller businesses, a lender may just want to know if by utilizing a certain amount of cash for a large purchase or down payment on a loan would harm the company’s cash flow. These types of comfort letters are more inexpensive and only require a review of the company’s cash flow.

    Summary

    In either situation, both individual and business comfort letters are not as widely utilized as in the past, nor are tax professionals willing to attest that everything on your tax return should be considered 100% accurate.

    If a lender or investor requests you provide a comfort letter, speak with your CPA or tax professional on the types of comfort letters they can offer along with the rates they charge for each type.

    http://www.brighthub.com/office/finance/articles/80116.aspx

  • Guidelines For Filing For Bankruptcy

    Benjamin J. Ginter runs the Law Offices of Benjamin J. Ginter in Cranford, New Jersey. He has worked in many fields of the law for over 7 years, particularly in the field of Consumer Bankruptcy. It has always been his mission to offer personal, friendly and professional legal services to all his clients at affordable prices. Here, he explains everything you need to know about bankruptcy.

    1. What are the basics of bankruptcy? Filing for bankruptcy doesn’t have to be difficult. It’s a good idea to have an attorney guide you through the process and to make sure you do things correctly. You will get all the answers to your major questions from a lawyer.

    2. What is a bankruptcy attorney? A bankruptcy attorney works with clients that are having financial difficulty and are looking to have their debt wiped out in bankruptcy. Bankruptcy attorneys help their clients get a fresh start without the worry of being sued.

    3. Do you qualify to file for bankruptcy? Whether or not you qualify to file for bankruptcy depends on a variety of factors, including your debt. It is always best to speak to an attorney to make sure you file for the appropriate chapter of bankruptcy.

    4. What are problems that prevent filing for a bankruptcy successfully? People should know the fact that certain instances may prevent them from filing for a bankruptcy successfully. Did you take an expensive vacation right before you filed? Are you due to get a lot of money from a personal injury lawsuit? These events may impact your filing.

    5. What are Chapter 7 and Chapter 13 bankruptcy? Chapter 13 is basically a repayment plan, while Chapter 7 is known as a straight bankruptcy. It is up to you and your bankruptcy attorney to decide which chapter is more appropriate to your specific needs. Be aware that filing for the wrong chapter, however, can make you lose your house.

    6. Can you still file for Chapter 7 bankruptcy? A lot of people are under the misconception that they no longer qualify for bankruptcy because the laws have changed. That is not true, although some of the main areas have changed. For example, you can now file for Chapter 7 bankruptcy once every eight years.

    7. What happens after you file for bankruptcy? When you file for bankruptcy, an automatic stay goes into effect , which stops all threatening letters asking for debts to be repaid. It should come as a great relief to people unable to pay their bills.

    8. How will you rebuild a credit report after bankruptcy? Many people despair at the thought that they may never get credit again after filing for bankruptcy. But the truth is far from that. Your bankruptcy can be erased from your record after 7 to 10 years’ time.

    9. Can you keep your home if you file for bankruptcy? In most cases, you can keep your home when you file for bankruptcy. It all depends on different factors such as where you live, how much equity you have in the property, or how far you are behind in the mortgage payments.

    10. How can you deal with mortgages when filing for bankruptcy? Lien stripping is one way in which people who file for bankruptcy are able to discharge their mortgages while still keeping their homes.

    11. Does your spouse have to file for bankruptcy if you do? Usually spouses file for bankruptcy together. So in most cases, a spouse would still be responsible for debts if his other half files. However, your spouse only has to file if he or she is a co-debtor on the credit card.

    12. What are secured creditors and unsecured creditors? You have to realize the difference between secured and unsecured creditors. A secured creditor has an interest on a piece of property you own, while an unsecured creditor does not. If you don’t continue paying for that piece of property, a secured creditor has the right to take that property back, but an unsecured creditor does not.

    13. What is a reaffirmation agreement? Reaffirming your debt – and your intention to repay it – can be an important part of a bankruptcy procedure. A reaffirmation agreement is one made by the debtor and the creditor where the debtor agrees to continue paying for the debt even though he filed for bankruptcy and the debt could therefore be legally discharged.

    14. What are debt counseling courses? The idea of debt counseling courses sounds time-consuming and onerous. But these types of courses are actually helpful, and they don’t take a lot of time. Anybody filing for bankruptcy has to complete both pre-filing and post-filing debt counseling courses.

    15. How will you hire an attorney for a real estate transaction? Don’t consider buying property unless you consult a decent real estate lawyer. As a competent real estate lawyer can help you avoid all common pitfalls, and even save you money in the long run. It’s worth hiring an attorney for a real estate transaction.

    16. How will you file for an uncontested divorce? Divorce is always a difficult issue, but it can be a lot easier for both parties if it is uncontested. An uncontested divorce is also called a simple divorce, for good reason. It happens when the two parties involved are able to agree on a variety of issues, and it can make the whole divorce process smoother and easier.

    17. What is the importance of having a will? A will basically disposes of your property after you die. If you don’t have a will, then the laws of intestacy apply, whereby your property will be disposed of according to the laws of the state. That’s why it’s important to have a will, because you want the power to decide how your property is disposed of after you’re gone.

    18. What is a living will? The idea of whether or not to pull the plug when you are lying in a vegetative state scares most of us. That’s why it’s important to have a living will to spare your relatives having to make these life-or-death decisions. Also called an advanced healthcare directive, a living will makes sure your wishes are carried out to the letter.

    19. What are federal bankruptcy exemptions? Knowing what federal bankruptcy exemptions are available is important if you are considering filing for bankruptcy. Look online to see what federal exemptions are. But for the most up-to-date information, you should always check with your bankruptcy lawyer for a full federal and state exemptions list.

    20. What are current New Jersey bankruptcy exemptions? It’s important to know what exemptions are available for people who are considering filing for bankruptcy. Keep in mind, however, that along with federal exemptions, there are also state ones, which vary from state to state.

    http://www.articledashboard.com/Article/Guidelines-for-Filing-for-Bankruptcy/1424769

  • What every Husband should know about a Womans need for Girlfriends

    Husbands that do not understand a woman’s need for girlfriends and companionship are being grossly shortsighted. Many times as a therapist, these are the same husbands that frequent the tailgate at football games, fishing trips with buddies, and weekend golf outings. All of us need time with our gender, and a release time. History has always discussed the groups with women as well as men. It may be quilting groups in the eighteen hundreds, or shopping excursions in this decade. Women are in need of their female counterparts, to disclose, ask for advice, share, and bond. Not unlike men, and it is very healthy for women to do so.

    There is an inherent bonding that is important, and necessary for mental health. Women have raised their children, told their stories and carried on traditions at a more consistent pace than men. Part of this consistency is the mother daughter bond, as well as having girlfriends, to unwind and brainstorm with. A marriage where there is a lack of respectful independence is a marriage fraught with jealousy, and fear. Men that have issues with their wives spending time with girlfriends need to seek out therapy and focus on their own issues. An addendum is imperative here. When time with girlfriends is so extensive that it takes time from family, children and upkeep then there should be concern.

    We all encounter stress at home and the workplace. There is nothing better than time spent unwinding, relaxing, laughing, and even spending hobby time with your own gender. It is imperative for life to socialize,and bond. As humans we are social animals, there is no mistaking that fact. Socialization, and conversation with our own gender decreases stress, gives support, empowers, influences laughter, and helps problem solving.

    As therapists it is important that we not only encourage time with girlfriends, but explain to their husbands the necessity and how this is a win, win for everyone. There are in fact numerous times where husbands fears are actually projective in nature. Projection, in the sense that husbands are aware what they discuss with their peers and are worried there will be disclosure of dissatisfaction with the marriage. This is indicative once again how good communication and resolution can benefit the marriage and girlfriend time can occur without a problem.

    Time with girlfriends is normal, healthy and imperative. Combined with open communication it is an important adjunct in any marriage. Husbands need to confront their hypocrisy head on, and accept the importance of this bonding scenario. In the end it is nothing more than a necessary ritual of socialization, that occurs with every culture across the world.

     

    http://www.helium.com/items/1616347-what-every-husband-should-know-about-a-womans-need-for-girlfriends

  • Adultery & Divorce in New Jersey

    The law of New Jersey permits one to represent oneself in the court in any legal case including divorce. Often people choose to represent themselves but they don’t realize one thing that a divorce lawyer knows better about the legal proceeding than a layman. A good divorce attorney will suggest various ways by which the various grounds of divorce can be proved in the court. For instance, in case of adultery if you hire an experienced family lawyer he will help you collect the evidence for the adultery committed by your spouse. Experienced lawyers have contacts with private detectives, who more often deal with such matters. Such detectives can appear as witness in the court to help you.

    The grounds for divorce are almost same in all states of America but laws related to each of these is slightly different. In New Jersey the grounds for divorce are

    Cruelty

    Adultery

    Addiction

    Desertion

    Imprisonment

    Deviant sexual conduct

    Institutionalization

    In this section we will be focusing more on adultery and matters related to it. As per the law of this state adultery is considered when a married person (irrespective of the gender) gets engaged in sexual intercourse with someone who is not his/her spouse. The case of adultery must be filed with the local police and then one can hire a lawyer to deal with the matter.

    If someone has committed adultery, then it has to be proved in the court based on circumstantial evidence. People who file for such case must take the help of legal associates. People express their love for each other by hugging, kissing and holding hands. This can be an evidence for an adulterous disposition. To prove adultery, one must show the evidence of “disposition and opportunity” by his/her spouse to have committed the adultery. For instance, take a case where the suspect entered the paramour’s apartment at 11 p.m. and came out at 8 a.m., they were alone for quite a long time. But, you must remember one thing that you have to prove this and as mere speculation will not be considered as a ground for adultery. In such a situation it is better to know the details from experienced divorce lawyers, as they will help you better.

    Penalty for adulterers in New Jersey

    The penalties for people who commit adultery are same in every state of America. As per the law of New Jersey, if a person is found to commit adultery, then he/she can be imprisoned and can even be asked to pay a fine. If the adultery has impacted the children, then the custodial impact of it will be worse. Adultery does not affect the alimony amount in New Jersey but it can be considered if the crime has affected the family in any manner.

    http://www.sooperarticles.com/relationship-articles/divorce-articles/adultery-divorce-new-jersey-759143.html

  • Remarriage And Your Children

    The divorce rate stands at 50% of all marriages, effecting more than 1 million children in the United States each year. This article looks at remarriage and the effect on the children involved in the divorce process. The other articles in this series examine the cultural changes in the attitude toward marriage, the general effect of divorce, custody agreements and the last of the articles reflects on the of counseling children of divorce.

    A situation that children of divorce can face is the remarriage of a family and the formation of a stepfamily or blended family. In the early years of the divorce boom it was assumed that children would be better off when parents remarried and a family was formed (Edwards, 2002). Studies are now finding that a stepfamily cannot pick up where the two-biological parent family left off. Children’s sense of loss is ongoing and may increase, especially at holidays, birthdays, and special school events when trying to integrate new family relationships (Cohen, 2002). There are no set guidelines that determine how a stepfamily is supposed to function, most stepparents and stepchildren are unsure about their new roles, boundaries, and responsibilities. It is noted by Deal (2003) that Elizabeth Einstein in a seminar in 1997 “stunned a group of ministers when she told them to make remarriage difficult”. Her reasoning was not based on moral grounds but that remarriage that involved children was very difficult and that couples should be very aware of the difficulties.

    When trying to figure out how a stepfamily should adjust and function, it is difficult to define the stepfamily and the subsystems as it relates to the child involved. Is it just the members living the household? What about the children who visit and see the stepparent only on occasion? All individuals within a stepfamily have different views on the topic of family. When asked the question, “who is in your family? ” Some may only list blood relatives, while others will include the members of the stepfamily along with the biological members. The varied answers to this question seem to result from whether or not stepfamilies function well enough to feel like families. Deal (2003) states, “most stepfamilies don’t blend and if they do something usually gets creamed in the process”. He points to the difficulties of the unrealistic expectation that the blended family will blend as a biological family would.

    The functioning of a stepfamily has a lot to do with the relationships within this complex situation; stepparent relationships can be complicated (Perrier, 2000). Quite often stepparents and stepchildren become a type of “in-laws”, brought together only by the circumstance of marriage. Unlike blood relatives, stepfamilies experience less of the loving rewards that usually accompany being a part of a family and view their relationships as more problematic (Edwards, 2002).

    It is uncertain if children of divorce are better off if their parents stay single after they divorce, or if they remarry. In remarriage, lives can be improved financially as a second income is brought into the household. This can bring back the standard of that to children were accustomed to before their parent’s divorce. Also when a parent remarries, there is another adult around to help out with the responsibilities that go along with running a home. This allows biological parent to have more time to be available to the children. These reasons would have one think that the children would be better off when parents remarry.

    In contrast, remarriage can also have negative effects for children. After the initial divorce, kids must re-adjust to a new way of life, and once a parent enters a new marriage the family routines are upset once again. New adjustments must be made, which is made even more complicated by the fact that the family member are not sure of what their roles are and what is to be expected of them. Also, children may feel some jealousy when they have to share their parent’s affection with someone new. This may make the children view the stepparent as competition. Another problem that can surface in the event of remarriage is the reaction of the non-custodial parent. The other parent can sometimes feel replaced and resent the idea of another parental figure in their children’s lives (Borrine, Handal, Brown, & Searight, 1991).

    Of course, every stepfamily situation is different. Many stepparents and stepchildren can develop a satisfying relationship with minor conflicts. A couple determining factors that can affect the outcome of a stepfamily include the age of the children at the time of remarriage, and the ability of all the adults’ involved to handle difficult situations.

    No matter what the end result of the divorce arrangement is, single-parent home, joint custody, or remarriage into a stepfamily, most people will agree that the children will suffer with emotions such as anger, sadness, and confusion when their parents split. Still, short-term reactions to divorce vary among children; including those children that come from the same family. Part of this variation has to do with each child’s individual temperament and their ability to cope with stressful situations.

    Parents need to take time to recognize their children’s emotions and reactions. Any parent may need help dealing with their children’s reactions. Parents should not hesitate in seeking professional help. The counselors at Discovery Counseling are available and have helped many families deal with this difficult transition.

    References

    Borrine, M., Handal, P., Brown, N., & Searight, H. (1991). Family conflict and adolescent adjustment in intact, divorced and blended families. Journal of Counseling and Clinical Psychology, 59(5), 753-755.

    Cohen, G. (2002, November). Helping children and families deal with divorce and separation. Pediatrics, 110(6), 1019-1023.

    Deal, R. (2003). Getting remarriaged with children effective pre-stepfamiy counseling. Marriage & Family, A Christian Journal, 6(4), 483-494.

    Edwards, R. (2002). Creating ‘stability’ for children in step-families: Time and substance in parenting. Children & Society, 16, 154-167.

    Perrier, S. (2000). Coresidence of siblings, half-siblings and step-siblings in France. History of the Family, 5(3), 299-215.

    Cheryl Gowin is a counselor and life coach at Discovery Counseling www.discoverycounseling.org www.discoverycounseling.org/satbeach.html www.discoverycounseling.org/sarasota.html

  • Legal help when you suffer from work injury

    An accident can happen at any time and any place. But how do you handle accident at your workplace, especially, if your employer is legally responsible for your injury? This article will help you to know about your legal responsibilities for your accident at work.

    It is always better to leave any legal responsibilities to the personal injury attorney. The law can help you to find out the true facts of your accident at work and hence give you the confidence to make a claim. 

    How can you prove that your employer is responsible for your accident at work?

    If your employer is found to be guilty, there are several ways of winning a compensation claim. The employer can be held legally responsible under the following circumstances:

     

    Ignorance of health and safety laws:

    It is mandatory for every employer   to make a proper risk assessment before an employee initiate any task.  If this safety laws are not followed by an employer, he is likely to be responsible for an employee’s accident.

    Ignorance of the employment contract:

    The employment contract set the relationship of the employee to the employer. If the employer breaks the term of the employment contract, he may be considered contractually responsible for the employee’s injury.

    Ignorance of the occupier’s liability:

    This can be explained with an example. If oil or grease is spilled on the factory floor causing an employee to slip and injure themselves, it is more likely that the employer is responsible for leaving the floor in an unsafe condition.

    Ignorance of the manual handling regulation:

    Many accidents at work are caused through manual handling. Manual handling is where you are required to hold or move any object at work using your bodily force or your hands. It can also include the use of dangerous chemicals in the workplace. If accidents occur due to manual handling, it is considered as a sheer employer’s negligence.

    What are you entitled to claim as a part of your compensation?

    Claim for damages:

    The general damage may include the compensation for financial loss in the future. If you still suffer from injury even after your claim has concluded it is likely that financial loss will also continue in the future.  The total amount will depend on how long you remain absent from work as well as how complicated the medical report is.

     If you meet with an accident at work, your employer will under the employment contract   continue to pay you some amount of income during your absence. Therefore, your lost income claim is calculated from the difference between the rate during the absence and the payment prior to the accident.

    You can claim medical expenses you had paid to treat your injury. This includes the personal medical expenses and prescription expenses.

    You are entitled to claim travel expenses including the expenditure spent while travelling from hospital to your house. If your vehicle or your colleague’s vehicle is used, you can claim the mileage rate.

    Loss of holidays can also be claimed. If you cannot go for a holiday which you had booked due to the accident, you can claim the total cost of the holiday. This is called a claim for loss of enjoyment due to accident at workplace.

    At times, if your injury demands for professional nursing assistance for recovery you can claim for nursing expenses.

    Author Bio

    Jason Baker is a paralegal consultant and a contributing author with many online publications. In his articles he tries to explain critical legal issues in the simplest form.

    If you want to add Jason Baker  to your circle visit her Google+ profile.

    Jason Baker is a paralegal consultant and a contributing author with many online publications. In his articles he tries to explain critical legal issues in the simplest form.

    If you want to add Jason Baker  to your circle visit her Google+ profile.

  • Leave us alone, we are working out our marriage, says Nurul Izzah

    Amid reports and speculation that they are heading for a divorce, PKR vice-president Nurul Izzah Anwar has announced that she and her husband are continuing with “our union”.

    In a statement issued by her office, the Lembah Pantah MP said: “Our family is our priority, as is our time together.

    “We are deeply saddened by the undignified intrusion into our private lives and will do our utmost to work out our continuing union.

    “We appeal to all to accord us privacy.”

    Earlier today, Nurul Izzah, 33, in replying a question on Twitter, on whether she had filed for divorce from her husband of 10 years, simply answered: “Nope.”

    The question was fielded by a member of the public following rumours in cyberspace that she had petitioned for a Fasakh (annulment of marriage) at the Syariah Court in December.

    Her husband, Raja Ahmad Shahrir Iskandar Raja Salim, 35, was said to have received the notice on January 16. He was also said to have requested on Monday for a two-week postponement of the divorce trial.

    This morning, when approached at Asli’s 16th Malaysia Strategic Outlook Conference, Nurul Izzah declined to comment on the issue.

    "I’m leaving now. Thank you for respecting my privacy," she said, before leaving the premises after her panel discussion ended.

    Meanwhile, the Lower Syariah Court in Kuala Lumpur today confirmed that Nurul had filed for a divorce from her husband.

    According to Bernama, a check of the court’s records showed that Nurul, who is the eldest child of opposition leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim, had filed the application early this month.

    It was filed under the Islamic Family Law (Federal Territories) Act 1984 which provides for the annulment of a marriage by "talaq" or court order. 

    The case was first mentioned before Syariah Judge Ab Malek Awang two days ago with remention scheduled for February 18, Bernama reported.

    The couple were married in May 2003 and have a seven-year-old daughter and a four-year-old son. – January 23, 2014.

    http://my.news.yahoo.com/leave-us-alone-working-marriage-says-nurul-izzah-092518692.html

  • Self Determination Theory in the Real World

    Self Determination Theory in the Real World

    Have you thought about the significance that self determination and empowerment principles have had on you lately? We’re all faced with daily situations that offer us instant opportunity to integrate this concept into our repertoire of behavioral choices. It is thereby up to us to recognize, embrace and consequentially use these moments for our own practice. My next question for you is what is the significance of self empowerment as it relates to Self Determination Theory? As we are quickly approaching the summer months, I’m sure it’s not exactly what you might expect to hear at your poolside gathering, or now is it? It seems that we nonchalantly toss around such words as responsibility, autonomy, motivation, coping, relationships, stress, overwhelm etc. It seems these themes are quite in vogue with all of today’s modern stressors and many demands. It’s no wonder that Social Workers must not only live up to, but must live beyond what is readily expected of them. In fact, Social Workers themselves are becoming more in need of the same types of quality work they provide to the general public.

    We know it is the Social Worker’s responsibility to embody and model the core values of social work; specifically, service, social justice, the dignity and worth of the person, the importance of human relationship, integrity and competence. The theory on Self Determination, developed by Edward L. Deci and Richard M. Ryan, derives its importance directly from the dignity and worth of the person. Essentially, they discuss how human motivation emanates from the intrinsic tendencies that self endorse human needs, values and behavior.

    By grasping a better understanding of this theory, we can then expand on the construct of autonomy and effectively apply it in our everyday lives. Maybe even at the poolside! Yes, it all boils down to the free will of each individual. Of course, as this is your birthright for freedom and the pursuit of happiness. Did you know that there are actually two levels where this may be expressed? The first level is through your own self-regulation ability and the second is via relational activities. Researchers Graham S. Gaine and Jennifer G. La Guardia (2009) in their article entitled, “The Unique Contributions of Motivations to Maintain a Relationship and Motivations toward Relational Activities to Well Being.” In Springer Science & Business Media, LLC link higher levels of autonomous functioning to greater positive interpersonal functioning.

    We all know how high the divorce rate is. And why might this be so? Certainly it is our primary relationship that can and will present the most challenges and triggers that test our ability to keep healthy, respectful boundaries when communicating our selves with our partner. When we realize that Relational well being is composed of so many variables, primarily intimacy, commitment, satisfaction and the overall vitality of the relationship, we must take 100% responsibility for our own part of which we contribute. Both individuals need to play at 100% if they value the relationship to keep it alive and well. As each person learns how to increase their resiliency, and expressed ability for autonomous, strengths based cognitive and behavioral functioning, they similarly increase their positive interactive behaviors as well. By utilizing the Strengths Based Perspective as a tool to highlight positive characteristics, you enhance your inner development, transcend personal difficulty more easily and translate these skills as they manifest within the context of your primary relationships. It makes a lot of good sense when we hear the expression to “Know Thyself first”. As we must have a good stable inner relationship with ourselves before we can have it with others.

    As human beings, we are always continually emerging, using our experiences to learn and grow. We can thank our “everyday teachers” that we meet nearly everywhere we go, those who challenge us to get through to the next level. We need to see these challenges as opportunities that allow us to creatively use our self determination in healthy ways.

    The bottom line is to create a clear, resilient sense of self by continuing to practice the art of healthy self determination. You not only help yourself, you help all those with whom you relate with, regardless of who they may be.

    When you foster self determination in the real world you make a conscious deliberate choice to co create a better place for us all to live. As you may have already guessed by now, it all begins with you.

    http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/self-determination-theory-in-the-real-world

  • Divorce Without Warning

    Can anyone really claim they were asked for a divorce without any warning? To honestly answer this question, I must start by explaining what I mean by “without warning”. First, we all know marriage is work and no marriage is perfect all the time. Disagreements, arguments, and disputes of all kinds are a part of marriage. I am not talking about obvious indiscretions like an affair that would trigger a divorce; I am talking about things like leaving the toilet seat up, snoring excessively, weight gain, financial or family discrepancies, drinking, drug use,and other human habits or behaviors that lead to fights. When you got married, you got the whole person – the good and the bad habits. Only if the habit is extreme and your spouse was not aware of the habit until after the marriage vows, do you have anything to be surprised about if asked for a divorce because of your habit that they have not discuss with you to try to reach a resolution.

    http://www.infobarrel.com/Divorce_Without_Warning